Sunday, March 11, 2012
Rant: Dear People of Fashism
Dear People of Fashism,
After over a year of being a member of this site and after the two generous glasses of wine I just consumed, I feel that we are on an honesty level to which we adhere & thus i'm writing this letter as there have been some things on my mind that I must address.
To those who defend their outfits when receiving well needed criticism,
Your outfits average at a 52% approval rating. This hereby meaning you need help getting dressed in the morning. Luckily, you came to a site of people who with try to help you look better. We can't help you if your catty "I know how to dress" statement follows every comment aiming to help your pathetic sense of style is made. If you knew how to dress, you'd average higher. Stop being catty bitches because we called you out. If you don't care what we think, don't post.
To those who have 4+ pictures with the same hideous article of clothing,
It is not the only article of clothing in your closet. If we thought it was ugly the first three times it was posted, what makes you think we won't realize you have tried to pass it off as something else and vote it off the proverbial island yet again? Have you ever stopped to think that this article of clothing may be killing your ratings? It is still ugly & newsflash, you haven't tricked us, you've just made us angry that we have to comment on it & call you out on it so that we can stop seeing it surface every 26 minutes. Jesus! Try some variety!
To the retro enthusiasts,
I get that you're trying to thrift and wear things that were worn in 1989 regardless of whether they flatter you or are attractive & that's awesome. Good for you. My only request is that you stop calling something 'retro' everytime its something old school & ugly. That just insults fashions of the day & consequently pisses me off. Blossom, Six, Clarissa Explains it All & the entire cast of All That wouldn't appreciate you butchering their iconic fashion memory.
To the serial belters,
There's more than one way to define your figure without using a belt. Stop telling people to "add a belt". Adding a belt doesn't solve your problems. It doesn't make them magically disappear. If the article of clothing didn't flatter them in pattern and/or shape then it certainly won't after. You add a vest, or a cardigan, blazer, tuck the shirt in ( if its a shirt that CAN be tucked in) or you can change the shape of the bottom or just change completely because let's be honest, most high fashion is modeled on twiggy 19 year olds that are 5'10 & have -2% body fat, not the general public. Dress for your body type!
To the flip flop freaks,
Flipflops are not suitable attire. They are meant to be worn to the beach, on college campuses, or while running errands or doing housework... Cinderella housework. They can also be worn when you don't want to ruin shoes (while raining) or when your feet hurt (on after wearing a kickass pair all day as a last resort) They scream 'I don't give a rat's ass about the way I look today.... in fact, I didn't feel like trying at all so this is the end result, plastic shoes that allow me to go into placed that require shoes. There's nothing fashionable about flip flops. Nothing. So stop telling me to take my hooker boots off & put on flip flops because that will only happen behind closed doors as I find them tacky & distasteful. Shame on you for that advice.
To the legging/jeggings/skinny Jeans lovers,
Leggings never have between, and never will be pants. Stop telling people to pair their outfits with leggings rather than going back to their closets & finding a real pair of pants. Especially when the poor girl is overweight. Also, throwing this out there, skinny Jeans & jeggings are only appropriate at certain times with certain outfits and at times certain body types. Real friends don't let friends try to pass leggings off as pants.
Last but secondly not least,
To the tweens that get mean,
You've come to us for advice & when we tell you your outfits either aren't right for you, don't match, or anything negative you try to get even by posting negative feedback about anyone who actually tried to help you to not become the hot messes we were when we were twelve. you're fucking twelve. If you can't take constructive criticism without going on a vengeful rampage to ruin the very nice people who to help you look better, then try getting on this site again after puberty.
With all my love & honesty,
LongLivethe Queen.