#Rant: Black floral patterns

I will only floral patterns as long as there is a dark background. I don't know why I hate it otherwise but I've conducted several experiments where I purchased different floral items, some in white or red backgrounds, others in black. I wear the black every single time. 

Is that weird?

#Rant: Choose a shade of lipstick that suits your skintone

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I know this girl who never wears lipcolors that are suitable for her darker skin. It's awful. Sometimes everything is flawless when she does makeup, but the lipcolor is so distracting because it simply doesn't look good. I think they might be best if muted with black eyeshadow or something. It's a shame too because her skintone is gorgeous. 

I'm not sayings that women of color can't wear bright shades- I think they should choose a darker version so that the color rings truer & it doesn't start leaning to the circusy stage makeup feel. I'm not a guru or some sort of fashion beacon guiding the way for poor unfortunate souls.  I'm just a girl who loves fashion and beauty and will share what I know and research on things I'm trying to learn about so that I can become knowledgable. 

I should send her this link.: Choosing a lipstick shade suited to your skintone 

#Rant: Little Black Pumps

I think the need for a pair of Little Black Pumps is severely understated- especially when it comes to having an eclectic wardrobe. Sometimes the perfect in-your-face outfit need the subtlety of basic black heels. It's frustrating when people tell me that they don't own black shoes or that they are too boring to be part of their wardrobe. Going back to basics is vital! Sometimes that is the difference between 'who wore it best' contests that women frequent when you have the misfortune of showing up to an event with the same garb as someone else...

#Rant: Joggers, harem pants

I'm going to take the hipster approach by saying that I wore these before they were cool but before I do, I want to say how confused I am by the "sweatpant" option of wearing it to formal events.

Shoes

I'm also not really on board for wearing this with open toed shoes. I usually pair my harem pants (Guess @ Macy's, $17) with closed toed wedge pumps or flats in true Princess Jasmine fashion. I also avoid pointy shoes as I feel as if they're overkill.

 

Tops 

I usually pair with a scoop necked tee or tank or a plain blouse with no buttons. I usually want them to be the feature. 

I'll upload some pictures soon from back in the day when I wore mine. 

#Rant: Forever XXI v. H&M

I went in Forever XXI yesterday and was intrigued by the similarities to H&M. My local mall will literally have them head to head when the H&M finally opens- right across the hall from a bigger better Forever XXI that opened within the month. 

Basics Section. 

I know Forever XXI has always had basics but they've actually sectioned them off and are really pushing the prices lower than they've ever been. #ftw

Saw a lot of these on Black Friday in H&M. 

Workout/Activewear Section 

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I believe H&M has had their own section for a while. It's nice to see Forever XXI shedding light in all aspects of life. 

#Rant: Neonineties Revolution Deux

And I predicted some of these things a couple of months ago. 

Returning trends:

Crushed velvet

Fake flowers

Fat headbands

Chokers

Among others. It was just nice seeing this come into friuition. 

I also saw someone wearing a silk shirt tied around their waist. (Guy)

I'm good. I really need to make those sunflower jeans before they come back in style. 

Rant: Neo nineties revolution

They're back. So back. We can thank the hipster influence in society. I'm half expecting to see the sunflowered Blossom jeans to make an appearance. Dark nails, high waisted jeans & shorts, cropped shirts, snapbacks, flat top haircuts, joggers, etc. 

Things I'm predicting to reappear

Girls: bob haircuts, velvet clothing and accessories, clueless (schoolgirl) attire, windbreakers. 

Guys: Brightly colored suits, wearing button up shirts buttoned all the way to the top with no tie, silk shirts.

Rant: Dear People of Fashism

Dear People of Fashism,

After over a year of being a member of this site and after the two generous glasses of wine I just consumed, I feel that we are on an honesty level to which we adhere & thus i'm writing this letter as there have been some things on my mind that I must address.

To those who defend their outfits when receiving well needed criticism,
Your outfits average at a 52% approval rating. This hereby meaning you need help getting dressed in the morning. Luckily, you came to a site of people who with try to help you look better. We can't help you if your catty "I know how to dress" statement follows every comment aiming to help your pathetic sense of style is made. If you knew how to dress, you'd average higher. Stop being catty bitches because we called you out. If you don't care what we think, don't post.

To those who have 4+ pictures with the same hideous article of clothing,
It is not the only article of clothing in your closet. If we thought it was ugly the first three times it was posted, what makes you think we won't realize you have tried to pass it off as something else and vote it off the proverbial island yet again? Have you ever stopped to think that this article of clothing may be killing your ratings? It is still ugly & newsflash, you haven't tricked us, you've just made us angry that we have to comment on it & call you out on it so that we can stop seeing it surface every 26 minutes. Jesus! Try some variety!

To the retro enthusiasts,
I get that you're trying to thrift and wear things that were worn in 1989 regardless of whether they flatter you or are attractive & that's awesome. Good for you. My only request is that you stop calling something 'retro' everytime its something old school & ugly. That just insults fashions of the day & consequently pisses me off. Blossom, Six, Clarissa Explains it All & the entire cast of All That wouldn't appreciate you butchering their iconic fashion memory.

To the serial belters,
There's more than one way to define your figure without using a belt. Stop telling people to "add a belt". Adding a belt doesn't solve your problems. It doesn't make them magically disappear. If the article of clothing didn't flatter them in pattern and/or shape then it certainly won't after. You add a vest, or a cardigan, blazer, tuck the shirt in ( if its a shirt that CAN be tucked in) or you can change the shape of the bottom or just change completely because let's be honest, most high fashion is modeled on twiggy 19 year olds that are 5'10 & have -2% body fat, not the general public. Dress for your body type!

To the flip flop freaks,
Flipflops are not suitable attire. They are meant to be worn to the beach, on college campuses, or while running errands or doing housework... Cinderella housework. They can also be worn when you don't want to ruin shoes (while raining) or when your feet hurt (on after wearing a kickass pair all day as a last resort) They scream 'I don't give a rat's ass about the way I look today.... in fact, I didn't feel like trying at all so this is the end result, plastic shoes that allow me to go into placed that require shoes. There's nothing fashionable about flip flops. Nothing. So stop telling me to take my hooker boots off & put on flip flops because that will only happen behind closed doors as I find them tacky & distasteful. Shame on you for that advice.

To the legging/jeggings/skinny Jeans lovers,
Leggings never have between, and never will be pants. Stop telling people to pair their outfits with leggings rather than going back to their closets & finding a real pair of pants. Especially when the poor girl is overweight. Also, throwing this out there, skinny Jeans & jeggings are only appropriate at certain times with certain outfits and at times certain body types. Real friends don't let friends try to pass leggings off as pants.

Last but secondly not least,
To the tweens that get mean,
You've come to us for advice & when we tell you your outfits either aren't right for you, don't match, or anything negative you try to get even by posting negative feedback about anyone who actually tried to help you to not become the hot messes we were when we were twelve. you're fucking twelve. If you can't take constructive criticism without going on a vengeful rampage to ruin the very nice people who to help you look better, then try getting on this site again after puberty.

With all my love & honesty,
LongLivethe Queen.

Rant: Ridiculous Deal:Wedges, the fun alternative to pumps

Wedges are the funky cousin of pumps, hands down. I love the attitude they bring to an outfit.
I scored this pair from Mandee on Black Friday (yes, I'm blogging in retrospect- dont judge me) for all of $11 USD.
They have a snakeskin relief on the actual wedge a a faux brushed leather upper. The slope, however is incredibly deceiving as it makes me feel like I'm running around in flats! But the back is my favorite part. Reminiscent of a corset, there is a lace up featurette along the heel.
Score.

Rant: Toe Cleavage

Toe cleavage is so sexy. End of discussion.
Pumps with the right amount up the sexiness level like 5 notches.

Rant: Heels.

Lately, I've really gotten into high heels. Like towering ones- 2" plus. Its been fun to put outfits on that I wore with flats, sandals or boots & see the difference. I went to the 3.99$ shoe store because since Miami is North Cuba, they've brought many things to this city. Forcing everyone to learn Spanish, tipping the scale to the Republican side & talking over all the radio stations are some pretty good ones. BUT, they brought some good things too, and the 3.99$ shoe store is one of them.
I went there with a coworker bc we were on break & 2 pairs screamed at me & I figure, what the hell, I might as well. So keep an eye out for them, they're coming soon to this Blog.

Rant: In light of recent weight loss...

In light of recent weight loss, I have realized that I can now bring my zeros out of hiding. I'm super excited because I literally have an ENTIRE wardrobe based on the fact that I was thin & alone. I will do my best to keep my weight off so that the dreaded muffin top never makes an appearance in this blog... ever again.

I lost eight pounds during the course of my vacation, partially to upset stomach, partially to heartbreak, but I've always said heartache blows but it's the best thing for me when I want to lose weight. I'm excited, just thought I would share.

Rant: Mismatching

I was walking through Downtown Disney & drinking everything in. I love Disney, I never went as a child so when I'm in Orlando now, I try to go at least once. I walked by this store & noticed that all the mannequins were wearing different socks with a decal over the window reading "Make your own style". Now I'm all for people being individuals & expressing themselves but this whole mismatching epidemic is awful. Its not okay that Disney is encouraging children not to match! Its bad enough that when they dress themselves that they demonstrate the coordinating abilities of a colorblind (or just blind) person, but encouraging them to put on anything as long as its colorful is a travesty to our generation.

Today's magazines aren't making it any better as they encourage you to throw any patterns together. I'm adventurous & will try anything magazines throw out there (and twice if I like it) but when I saw that this was the new trend, so to speak, the word "Hobo" flashed across my mind. Everything in me screamed at the heinous thought of going out in public like this. I know we're in a recession but that's no excuse to dress like we're homeless. I'm supposed to blindfold myself, reach into my closet & pull out the first two things, regardless of color & pattern? I don't think so.

Rant: The reason why dresses are a great investment.

I've really been getting into dresses and the femme look. Dresses are like a one stop shop- put them on and leave sort of thing. You don't have to worry about a belt, what type of underwear you're wearing.

Tip: If you've gained weight and are between sizes, dresses are your friend!

I'm trying to get back to the size that the majority of my clothing are it and it sucks to put on a pair of jeans that give you a muffin top & try to feel sexy & beautiful. But dresses are a great way to change it up, show your feminine side and hide the extra pounds. Plus, your boobs will look great in a dress as opposed to a tank or tee and cleavage is a little more acceptable.